So, the first recipe that I’m making is the Chunky
Lentil and Vegetable Soup at budget bytes.
Budget Bytes is an incredible website. The only thing
that I came up with for this recipe is the mistakes. If you would like to eat
something delicious, please go get the actual ingredients and directions at the
link above.
Chunky Lentil and Veggie Soup (from Budget Bytes)
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| I feel bad for you if you do not have this soup right now. |
Post-Recipe Rundown
Time
I don’t want to know. I’m blaming it on
the first blog post and discovering I don’t know how to
take pictures that
humans would want to look at. Less than two hours. If you have normal
skills and attention span, it'd be really fast – like less than an hour,
with most of it not
paying attention.
Tools
Pot for soup, knife, cutting
board, some measuring utensils, soup spoon, can opener
Calories
It was an estimated 200 calories each for 8 servings with my ingredients, but it's going to vary.
There's not a single unhealthy thing in this.... except for the MSG that I think is in my bouillon
cubes, but that's what happens when you buy it at the Asian market.
Cost
Doesn’t get better than this for real
food, unless you aren’t stocked up on spices.
Uh oh Index
Very wide! You could do a bunch of weird
stuff and it would still be delicious.
Verdict
I love soup. Love soup. This isn't the most exciting thing I've ever cooked, but it's so filling and
warm and satisfying and perfect. I’m going be making this regularly. Probably with
even more beans and using the diced tomatoes with green chiles.
Voices from the future
Like most soups, tastes even better after a few days in the fridge. I froze two servings, I'll check
back in again and let you know how that worked.
Put
Your Game Face On
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| Note my only useful innovation: keeping the empty produce bag as a trashbag. |
Ingredients (that I actually used)
·
2 Tbsp olive oil
·
2 cloves garlic
·
1 large onion, because I
love onions
·
4.5 carrots because I
had a stumpy one from last week that’s been sitting sad in my fridge, but I
didn’t want to count it as a whole one or skimp on carrots.
·
3 ribs celery
·
1 (15 oz.) can black
beans
·
1 cup brown lentils
·
1 heaping tsp cumin
·
1 tsp random Italian
Seasonings abandoned by some former roommate.
·
½ tsp regular paprika
because I’ve never even heard of smoked paprika
·
½ tsp chili and ½ tsp
red pepper flakes because I don’t have ½ tsp cayenne pepper. So, I’m going to do
chili powder AND red pepper flakes because I don’t know, cayenne pepper probably
has more flavor than chili powder? Sure. That’s reasoning of some kind.
·
Freshly ground black
pepper (fancy!)
·
1 (15 oz.) can diced
tomatoes
·
4 cups vegetable broth from
bouillon cubes
Let's Do This
1. Chop
everything before anything goes on the stove (carrots, celery, onions, and
garlic.).
Don’t tell yourself you've gotten fast enough that you
don’t need this step. You’re a liar. Chop it up.
Don’t peel the carrots because
that’s a lot of effort.
Chop the carrots two at a time. It is way faster.
Send
several carrot bits flying across the kitchen. Use 5 second rule on first one. The second one
will roll right under the stove. Decide to not be the roommate that lets food rot in stove crevices.
will roll right under the stove. Decide to not be the roommate that lets food rot in stove crevices.
Stand there and think about how you really don’t deserve
any surprises you will find.
Get on the floor.
Shove your hand under the
stove—find no dead animals or rotten food.
Realize a. you can’t reach the
carrot and b. could have used a spoon this whole time.
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| Behold, man and her tools. |
2. Commit
to this soup. Put the garlic and the onion in the pot with the olive oil and put on stove. Do NOT put it as high as the heat will allow. That is not
what sautéing means. Medium-high will be fine and then you won’t have to
transfer pots midway through because you so badly burned the olive oil on the
bottom of the first pot.
3. Put
the other veggies in there (carrots, celery). Then once they’ve had some time
to bond, add the drained can of beans and the dried lentils and the spices. Try
to add the pepper. Be unable to open the top of the pepper. Read the back. Try
again. Scratch at the black top. Move on. MOVE ON. You are losing precious soup
juices.
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| So. Smug. |
4. Add
the tomatoes and broth cubes. Use kettle to measure four cups of water for
broth because only have a one cup measure.
Add the water too.
5. How
the hell does this thing open to get the cover off? I don’t want to change the
grinder size. I need pepper to come out! I JUST WANT PEPPER TO COME OUT.
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| I did take action shots of my desperate scratching, but none looked like a functioning human took it. It is probably not shocking that it took me two hours to make this soup. |
6. Start
boiling the soup. You are committed already. Pepper or no pepper. You don’t
even need pepper. You have a fistful of spices. You’re great. You’re golden.
7. The
pepper grinder does not need to be opened. It just needs to be turned.
Please grind some pepper over the soup, you beautiful disaster.
8. Once
it boils, cover, and reduce to a simmer.
9. Forget
to set the timer… leave at simmer until done, thirtyish minutes.
10. Eat
soup. Add crackers.
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| THIS SOUP IS SO DELICIOUS. (And Acer, definitely open to a product placement deal, bros. Check out that sweet photography.) |
You're up, Ounces.
-Pluck
